Top 10 Things Heard in the White House after the November 5 elections

10. "Social Security to be replaced by giant Bingo game -- brought to you by Wall Street."

9. "White House announces new Global Economy trading cards -- swap five sweatshops for 1,000 good jobs."

8. "Ken Lay for SEC Chair -- that should end the investigations."

7. "We don't need more money for fire trucks. What do firefighters know about public safety?"

6. New White House ergonomics slogan: "Walk it off."

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5. "Why do we need pension protections? Doesn't everybody have stock options?"

4. "Health care is only for sick people."

3. "Unemployment is only a problem for people without jobs."

2. "Why raise the minimum wage? People are just going to lose their jobs anyway."

1. "Hello, you've reached the U.S. Senate. If you're a corporate CEO, press 1 for immediate assistance. All others please press # to hang up."